The Golden Padawan Page 10

  I stared into space a moment, overwhelmed, then said, “I only wanted to be an ordinary Padawan.”

  Brenan took my hand. “For now that is all you will be. Don’t take on more of the burden than is your share, Aeli. Remember, I’m the Master. For now the responsibility falls almost fully on me.”

  This was reassuring, but still I asked him, “Tell me one thing, though…doesn’t Teg’s writing say the Golden Padawan is a man?”

  “The Aleyran tongue has no genders, Teg’s text doesn’t indicate anything about the sex of the Padawan. It’s a fault of the translation. The version you read must have been old…the newer ones include the ambivalent gender.”

  “Oh…well, that more or less removes the last of my possible excuses.”

  Brenan patted my knee. “You are stuck with Auri-Owan, I’m afraid. And now, to add insult to injury, I must ask for my ring back.”

  “Oh, of course!” I reached back to undo the chain, and freed the ring.

  “Tomorrow I will replace it with a new gift, so take heart,” he said with a smile.

  “Really? I expect nothing, Brenan…Master…after all, if we’re together now, the ring has served its purpose.”

  I held it in my fingers, this great ring of honor and prophecy. It didn’t seem fitting to simply hand it to him, so I took hold of his right hand and unfolded his first finger. I smiled to myself at the surge of love I felt even for just Brenan’s right hand. Strong and beautiful and masterful with the lightsaber, it was also warm and soft and reassuring. I slipped the ring back in its place, then folded his hand closed again.

  When I looked up I found Brenan staring at me. “I’m a stoic man,” he said, his voice strangely tender, “a Jedi in the most classic sense. I will never pretend to understand what you feel for me, the Golden Padawan’s Gift. Nevertheless I’m not made of stone. If there were no prophecy I would still seek to become your Master.” His fingers caught at mine before I could withdraw them. “To have the trust and respect of another Jedi, the dependency of a Padawan, is not a charge I take lightly. To have you entrusted to me…I swear as long as I draw breath no harm will come to you.”

  “Don’t swear that,” I whispered, “you may be called upon to let harm come to me.”

  “I think not, for it is both of us together who threaten to destroy the evil. And for all the power the Force has given me, I don’t think I could do it.”

  I stared into his eyes, unable to speak.

  “And that is the last time I will admit any weakness to you, soon-to-be my Padawan.”

  At this Brenan released my fingers and took hold of my face with his two hands. They were so warm, and gentler than I would have thought such a man could be. He lowered my head and kissed me on the forehead, and the tender touch of his lips was echoed in the warm emotion I felt from him. This innocent gesture far surpassed the power of either of my sinister dreams…it abounded in pure loyalty, abiding affection, a bond that passed understanding. I said nothing, did nothing in response, yet I knew he could perceive how I felt…I knew he could sense the swelling adoration of my heart, the overwhelming power of the Gift.

  The pledging would be the next day, but in truth, that was the moment when Brenan Auri-Owan became my Master.

  * * *

  Since my return to Coruscant, I hadn’t had any time to see my friends again, not even Calnor. The publication regarding the Padawan ceremony went out immediately, as Master Windu had promised. This was an additional hindrance, for traditionally on the eve of a pledging, everyone leaves the Padawan-elect to himself, to prepare for the event. So the rest of the day that was what I did. There was little point in unpacking much, for I knew I would be leaving the trainees housing as soon as could be arranged; therefore I engaged myself in a few activities I thought were most suitable.

  I started by spending a couple of hours in one of the lightsaber training rooms. I saw three of my friends there, and in spite of their solemn demeanor when they offered congratulations, I could see how happy and excited they were for me. I worked alone then, on the most elementary exercises and drills and especially the Three Routines. How peculiar it was to be back in a school setting, having used my saber to defend Master Nago and the dewbacks on Tatooine. This only reminded me how ill prepared I felt for the duties ahead. Whenever I contemplated the future, my mind fell into such a whirl that I determined simply not to think about it. There were but three facts of which I was certain: I would face great peril, I would do it for a hugely important reason, and I would do it with Auri-Owan at my side. Perhaps there was also a fourth fact, although I found it hard to trust: the Force had chosen me for this task so therefore I must be worthy of it.

  With so much troubling my mind, I didn’t mind being solitary. It was traditional to fast before the pledging, so I didn’t even have an opportunity to talk to people in the dining hall, not that much would have been said to me anyway. Instead I went to the Room of a Thousand Fountains to meditate. On such an occasion, it was most fitting to ponder one’s calling and prepare one’s soul for answering it. I did not know the Golden Padawan’s calling, so I sought somehow to find clarification of the mystery.

  I was not too surprised when Brenan’s voice came into my mind. Aeli my Padawan, you struggle too hard. You don’t need to know everything at once, otherwise the Council could declare you a Knight tomorrow, couldn’t they?

  “But Brenan,” I replied, “I won’t be a normal Padawan. You know the challenges will begin at once…”

  Yes, because I will be a hard Master. You may rue the day you wished for this… He was laughing, but I also knew he laughed when he had to face his own fears.

  “Are you afraid, Master Brenan?” I asked him.

  I felt him wax somber in my mind. I am. I prefer to face my fears while safe in the Jedi Temple, so I can leave them aside when I find myself in my enemy’s house.

  “Will you teach me to be courageous?”

  Were you afraid of the Tusken Raiders?

  “Yes…and no.”

  A good answer. But yes, I will teach you all I know.

  It was amazing how much better I felt when I wasn’t alone. Perhaps the true and only challenge I needed to take upon myself right then was trust. I remembered how Brenan had survived the tunnels into Quel-zil’s cave by trusting Yoda and the Force.

  That’s my wise friend Aeli…exactly. If you trust me perfectly, you take all that I am into yourself as your own wisdom and strength. Trust will be enough, and I think you have that in abundance. And over time, your trust in the Force will grow as well.

  I smiled. “Then I will meditate on trust, and that will be sufficient.” I sensed satisfaction in Brenan, and also some urgency. “My Master, you have your own preparations to make?”

  That I do. Another evening we will talk, over a fine Borx ale perhaps, but tonight I have my own spirit to get in order. But I will be with you, especially when you sleep.

  “But you will sleep too?”

  That merited a quiet chuckle. Yes, I’ll sleep too. Goodnight, Aeli. If it’s possible to say goodnight, things being as they are in our pair of heads…well, I will be only a little apart from you, but goodnight.

  “Goodnight, my Master, sleep well.”

  That night I feared a great struggle might take place over me, since it was the eve of the pledging, but the Dark Side seemed far away both from myself and Brenan. Perhaps it was too late, perhaps evil had given up on the project of keeping us apart. In that hope I went to sleep.

  I rose with my chambermates, who went off soberly to their classes after greeting me with large and amazed eyes. It had been awhile since a female was raised to Padawan, so the occasion would have been an exciting one for them even if it weren’t the very pledging of a woman who had shared quarters with them for so long. I dressed, for the time being, in my regular clothes. I knew the Council would send an emissary soon to assist me in preparing myself.

  In fact, it was my dear friend Calnor who knocked upon the door mid-morning. I
admitted him, along with several boxes of varying sizes that he carried. Once the door was closed, I allowed myself to embrace him fervently, boxes and all.

  “Cal, I’ve wanted to see you so badly!”

  “The Council wasted no time, Aeli—here I thought I might be the one to break the news to you of Auri-Owan’s being raised to Master, and before I can even find you, it’s announced that you’re to be his Padawan!” He set the boxes on my bed and then hugged me more effectively. “The Council assigned me as emissary, probably because they knew how badly I wanted a private moment with you. But how was Tatooine, is it true you had to fight Tusken Raiders?”

  As usual, gossip had preceded me, but nothing of course to make Cal suspect the full wonder of what was happening—he had no idea that Brenan and I were anything beyond the usual pledging pair, although he was quite astonished enough at that. We talked fast and furiously, for there was not much time for conversation and a great deal to be shared. On Cal’s side, the most interesting piece of news was that he was to take my place assisting Master Nago when he returned to Coruscant with the dewbacks. I was very pleased to have my dear animals fall under the care of someone I loved and respected.

  “Well,” said Cal at last, “we have no more time to talk, you have to get ready. Let’s see what the tailor has sent here.”

  We opened the larger boxes and they contained my formal Padawan uniform, everything from boots to cloak, all in light brown as was the custom. There was even a new swordbelt, which puzzled me since it seemed my old one would do just as well. There was a smaller box in the collection, but this one Cal held back. “Get dressed first,” he said, and turned his face away to give me privacy.

  I can’t deny the joy and pride that swelled in me when I put on those clothes. As much as in a sense I was born a Jedi, and although I had even killed in duty as a Jedi, I had never felt the calling was fully mine until then.

  Everything fit wonderfully well, so I told Cal to turn around. He looked me up and down sternly, then said, “I still can’t believe you’re pledging before I do.” I laughed, and he did too. “And to none other than Auri-Owan. I tell you, there’s something about you two…”

  I made no response, but stood there silent in my new clothes.

  “All right, sit down, I’m your escort so I have to do your braid.” Cal sat next to me on the bed, parted out a lock of my hair, and set to doing my Padawan’s braid. “Doesn’t this all seem surreal?” he asked me as his fingers worked.

  “Beyond surreal.”

  “Well, if anyone’s ready, you are.”

  I held still but eyed him. “Do you think so?”

  “I never told you this, Aeli, but I suppose if there were ever a time to say it, this is it. There’s always been something special about you. Didn’t you ever wonder that the Temple’s best trainee at the lightsaber in years would be female? I’m not sure what you have exactly, I just know it’s different. I wasn’t at all surprised that Master Brenan chose you.”

  I couldn’t turn my head so I put my hand on his knee instead. “Thank you, Cal.”

  “Nevertheless, I’d better be next.”

  We laughed, then sat silent until he had finished the braid. I stood up to go to my lockdrawer for my lightsaber, since I would need it for the ceremony.

  “There’s one more box,” said Cal, and proffered it.

  I knew at once what was in it. In fact, the first thing that crossed my mind was that it was interesting how Brenan could conceal from me whatever he chose. I knew the contents not because he had let me see his mind, but because I knew him so well.

  I took the box from Cal and opened it. Inside was a gray velvet pouch, which I lifted out and opened. Wrapped inside was a lightsaber, fashioned of burnished gold, of an amazingly simple and elegant design. I raised it before my eyes. Stylized vines wound up the shaft; I recognized the style as a popular one from Brenan’s home world, Delois. On the end of the shaft was engraved the Auri-Owan sun symbol, the same as on the ring and over his heart.

  “It’s amazing,” breathed Cal.

  It was light but substantial in my hand, easy to grip and balance. I saw the activation panel and said to Cal, “Stand back.” I pressed the button.

  The beam was pure gold, longer than that of my former lightsaber. I could also tell the force was substantially stronger, although I had no trouble managing it. Brenan had worked with me enough to know exactly what I could handle. There was no room to run through the 14 transitions or any other such movements, and I longed to dash to the training rooms and try it out. Oh well, that would have to wait, we were due very soon in the Great Hall. What an incredible weapon: it seemed like an extension of my spirit, and yet there was so much of Brenan in it…

  Cal interrupted my wandering, amazed thoughts. “You have a saber made by Brenan Auri-Owan,” he said, awe-struck.

  I looked at Cal and smiled. I would allow myself one little moment of unabashed pride. “He’s my Master,” I said quietly. And wherever Brenan was at that time, I had the distinct feeling he was well aware of my gratitude.

  As Cal escorted me to the private room where I was to meet Mace Windu, I couldn’t help but notice the air of anticipation in the Temple. Everyone seemed to be headed where we were, but people let us pass, deferring to the Padawan-Elect and her emissary.

  Cal delivered me to Master Windu, and his duties were done. After we all exchanged greetings, I turned to Cal. I couldn’t help but feel like I was leaving my friend for good, even though I had no idea where I would be the next day. I held out my arms to him and we embraced. “Thank you for everything,” I told him.

  Cal squeezed me hard. “You’ve forgiven me for losing you in the Roughlands then?”

  That brought tears to my eyes. “It was my fault,” I said.

  “Whoever’s fault it was, I think we’re wiser now. May the Force be with you, Aeli.”

  “May the Force be with you, Cal.”

  Then he released me, gave a little bow to Master Windu, and left us.

  I turned. Mace Windu, much to my surprise, also held out his arms to embrace me. Then he held me by the shoulders at arms’ length and said, “Are you ready, Aeli?”

  “Forgive me, Master, but how could I be?” I smiled.

  He returned the smile and released me. “All will be well, both Master Yoda and I are confident of that. And you are fortunate indeed to be pledged to such a Master as Brenan Auri-Owan. Yoda has known him nearly all his life, and he was remarkable even as a child. What he can accomplish now—and with you—only time will tell.”

  “Yes, Master. I can hardly believe my good fortune. It’s very humbling.”

  “Well, you’re a bit remarkable yourself, Aelida Camil. I could tell that your first day here, and I know it beyond a doubt now. What a pair you two should be…but enough dallying. Wait here just a moment until I make sure everything is ready.”

  I sat in a side chair and tried to prepare. I reviewed in my mind the steps and vows of the ceremony, which were taught to us in class and I had seen with my own eyes many times. Beyond that I simply couldn’t concentrate. My thoughts were in such a whirl I hardly noticed the time from when Mace Windu left until he returned. I felt his hand I my shoulder and I stood up at once.

  “It’s time,” he said simply, and led me to the door. We passed down a deserted hallway and in the entrance to the Great Hall that was known as the Lesser Door. It faced the Great Door, and as we entered, across the Hall from us through that door passed Master Yoda, followed by Brenan. To my right, at the head of the Hall, the Council was seated in their tall chairs. To my left was the assembly, just about every member of the Temple. But all this was a blur to me, for over the diminutive Yoda I could see Brenan, dressed in the Master’s formal ivory-colored robes. I told myself I was only feeling the effects of the Golden Padawan’s Gift, but he looked absolutely magnificent. The robes he wore were no more fancy than any Jedi clothing, but it seemed like he gave off a sort of luminescence. I had to force myself to bre
athe.

  Your new attire also suits you well, he told me. I felt myself blush that of course he had perceived my reaction to him. But as we met in the center of the floor and turned to face the Council, he gave me a deeply pleased, encouraging smile and I forgot my embarrassment.

  Our elder Masters stepped up onto the dais and turned to face us. Master Windu addressed the company: “My fellow Jedi, the Ceremony of Pledging has been our custom for many centuries, and the passing of knowledge from Master to Padawan is the very lifeblood that sustains the Order. We are joyful today to witness this ceremony yet again. These two Jedi begin by coming before us to renew their vows of faithfulness to the Order.”

  Then Master Yoda spoke: “Master Brenan Auri-Owan, your right hand extend, and your Jedi vow restate.”

  Brenan held out his arm, palm downward, his hand relaxed. The ring sparkled on his index finger and I shivered a little. Brenan said, “Master Yoda, I rededicate myself to the Jedi Order, to the cause of good, to the benefit of all. May the Force guide my heart and my hand and always keep me true to this vow.” He lowered his hand.

  Then Master Windu spoke to me: “Aelida Camil, extend your right hand, and restate your Jedi vow.”

  I did as bidden, and said, “Master Mace Windu, I rededicate myself to the Jedi Order, to the cause of good, to the benefit of all. May the Force guide my heart and my hand and always keep me true to this vow.” I lowered my hand.

  Master Windu continued: “This Master has brought before the Jedi Council his desire to take this Jedi as his Padawan. The Council has found this request in good order and given its approval. These two may now make their pledges.”

  As the ceremony required, Brenan and I turned to face each other and clasped our right hands. My hand looked so small in his, but didn’t approach the smallness I felt in contrast to the great Jedi he was.

  Then he gave my fingers a little squeeze and said, Listen to my promise, Aeli…listen and trust. And only a moment later I heard the voice outside of my head say, “I, Brenan Auri-Owan, Master of the Jedi Order, raise you, Aelida Camil, to the rank of Padawan. Your Masters and your fellows have prepared you for this day, by the power of the Force you have achieved this stature, and by its guidance I have selected you. I pledge myself to you as your Master, to impart to you my wisdom, to protect you with my strength, and to lead you as the Force empowers me, until that day when you are prepared to become a Jedi Knight. To this end, may the Force be with you.”